Seasonal feelings at the GESS

Title: GESS Weihnachtsmarkt / X-mas Bazaar 2009
Date: Sat, 21 Nov 2009 (4-9 pm)
Location: GESS Main Campus (72 Bukit Tinggi Road)

GESS Main Campus (Pre-School and Secondary)
72, Bukit Tinggi Road, Singapore 289760 (Bukit Timah)

On arrival: please report to the guard house at the Main Entrance.

Car: parking is limited on campus. Please park considerately on Bukit Tinggi Road.

Taxi: drop off at Main Entrance.

Bus: closest on Dunearn Road / Bukit Timah Road (15-20 minute -sweaty- walk to campus).

For more detail map, click here

For those bro and sis who still need help, we are carpooling from turf-city at 2pm.

touching…

My feelings…

On Thursday.. ling talking session.

Da jie talk to my ling. Mention i am sad and emo! This has been bugging me for a while… i have been reviewing with my ling and spread open my thoughts and emotion with no hesitation. Is my Ling really sad? Is it i am still not truthful to myself? i wonder….

My Bro mention something to me which is gratifing. My ling is not sad… just very sian about how things are right now. Things are not really moving for me, in life, work or cultivation. But i am not saying i warming my seat and waiting for things to drop from the sky.

I am really very happy cos i have many good friends, a job to occupy me and a cultivation journey. I eat what i want and don’t have to worry about where to sleep everyday. What more should i wish for…. if there is, shui yuan ba!

Cheers!

Anything sounds familiar?

2012

Over the decades, many have prophesised that the world will end when the ancient Mayan calendar ceases on 21 December 2012. But before that occurs, the human race is bound to face natural disasters such as massive volcano eruptions, typhoons and other natural calamities. An academic researcher opens a portal into a parallel universe and makes contact with his double in order to prevent an apocalypse predicted by the ancient Mayans.

http://www.whowillsurvive2012.com/

Am i getting disillusional?

Sorry bro and sis, i know i think too much… i am just writing this down so i can lay it to rest.

Sometimes, i dunno whether i am putting cultivation too much into our daily lives for example… when i get sick, is it because of neg energy. When i feeling too tired, am i ka ying? Don’t get me wrong… i am not worried or being negative in thoughts. It’s just the first thoughts is no longer see a doc or get more rest….

I see this and ask myself, what MR will say to me…

1. See it, acknowledge it and let it pass…
2. 自在

i think it should flow along these lines….

Bro and sis, i am ok! no worries! just wanna get the correct thought…

DG?

 

Are you going to finish strong?

I have see this guy around on the net for years and i think he’s great.

You think your life is tough, there will be someone’s life that’s tougher. We don’t compare what i have been through with what you have been through coz it doesn’t matter. What matters is how you going to pick yourself up when you fall.

It’s a choice!

You can live in self-pity and complain about everything that you can but it won’t change a thing. You will find the world is unfair and you want to run away… but your problems will always run back to you.

Are you going to face your problems and face it eye to eye… Are you going to finish Strong?

Challenges come in all shapes and size…

Challenges come all the time and attack your weakness… but did we invited them in the first place.

As a cultivator, we have to constantly monitor ourself. The ironic is that, we are the most vulnerable to demon attacks and esp Ka Ying. Sometimes, we are so blinded that we lose focus that’s where our “family” comes in to remind us….Can you be more “shui” – water?

i learn 2 lesson this week.

lesson 1 – “du ren” is very difficult…

Our the past year of cultivation, a lot of knowledge was shared with us thus we seem to know the reasons behind the workings of reality. We may not have noticed it as we constantly shared and poke fun with one another every week. Dom – i got Ka Ying! But the truth is with all the knowledge, it’s easier to understand the problem, but harder to explain it simply. Have we all become so profound that it’s hard to explain it? People have also start to label us as weirdos!

How i wish there was a reference book, “du ren for dummies” but everyone is different and situations are always different. But the one thing we must do before anything is build a bridge. Everyone has problems and every problem is different. As we ling cultivators tend to usually find the source of the problems whether it’s a personal character problem or “special forces” problems, human see it differently as they don’t have dharma nor tao xing, thus they tend to focus more of their immediate “real” problems like family, money, career among others. i pity them as they are like chasing their own tails. I want to help them break this cycle but i dunno how. Our viewpoints are different. If this is a test for me, i would have fail. As what Shifu said, sometimes we have to bring ourselves lower to see what they see and help them one problem at a time.

Lesson 2, We must learn to help ourselves first before we are able to help the ones around you. We must also be willing to receive help otherwise nothing will change.

Are you in a blissful state where there is not a care in the world. You can say others and point fingers but not yourself. Only when you are in a shit-hole before you start to call for help. Even then, would you put down yourself and receive the help that is pass to you.

Well, this are the thoughts in my mind for the week or so. i know they are pretty random. I also enjoy my meditation sessions it’s like 1 hour every day where i can leave all my worries behind. i will fill in whatever thoughts come in as i go along too.

Cheerios!

I think i wanna help myself….

Recently, there are times when i tend to move my mind to be outside of me, watching myself as a 3rd  party.

I was talking to a friend about cultivation in general. She has lots of chances with buddhism but she don’t cultivate because she is very busy. There were times when i told her that she should slow down her pace and try to start cultivating since there were many chances with buddhism. Sometimes, i get a little agitated because she always comment that buddha has help her many times and she believed in the buddha but she don’t wish cultivate yet because she is very busy. I think before why she is so stubborn.

But why did i get so agitated. Is it because i wanted to help her but she is so stubborn? maybe… but i too realised maybe because i am too eager to help her maybe because i think i was clever. That’s where i think i am very wrong. There were many chances but there wasn’t a affinity maybe because it’s not her time yet. And sometimes helping someone is not immediate, could be days, months or years. Sometimes, it will never happen at all. By being nearby is the best help already. So there isn’t really a need for me to be agitated or be angry over someone else.

During my practice, i try to talk to myself. Understanding myself better by facing myself. i think it’s really hard to be honest with myself. The amount of emotions, sweat, tears and regret that has piled up over the years inside. By being totally honest with oneself is acknowledging one’s flaw, problems and ugliness.

There was one time while doing SOP, i was trying to do it better than before. I went through all the motions and etc when i suddenly felt very empty and lost. Why? because i think i am a good actor. I redo my SOP. this time slowly and with sincerity. Each word that comes out of my mouth and each visualisation i make, it’s from my bottom of my heart.

At a recent healing, i saw a child in pain. I heal with my white light…… hoping my light could bring you some comfort and warm to ease your pain. I give you a golden protection boundary so you can shine so bright that no bad energy could come near you. i give you my energy so you can have the courage to fight back. and as i was healing, i saw a glimpse of myself as a child in the light so i wanted to give it my all.

I feel really different from before. i think i am more aware of my ling and he is guiding me along the way. i dunno who tag who but i am really glad he’s there.

PS – please don’t ask me why my ling is a he. Just a feeling.